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Sorry for the mess up Eustace!! -feels ashamed-

And yeah.... A long try in the wrong way
Oh there's several quaint ones. There's :

1. sExperience Guy :
"Hey, mind if you help me level up? I'm soooooo close (clearly *cough*) to the next level.
Unfortunately, not to the next league or ten. Wink

2. The Giant Massive Immense Huge Mofo XXL-Shlongathon :
"Yo babe, wanna see my 40 inch flaccid monsta?"
Translated (aprox. nouns) : My basement is cold so it's shrinking even more but I can play a mean ukalele when mom's not home.

3. The "Bro"
Usually a guy acting like the white sheep of the Marley family, talking "smack" all "ghetto" while he's "blasting" Eminem thinking it's "da bomb" when the nearest he's ever been to a true ghetto was that one time Polo shirts were on sale from the back of a van.
I just had an encounter of the third kind and thought about sharing it here:


Guy: where from? (my thoughts: great, just great ... not even an implied greeting, asking personal questions a lot too soon and too lazy to write properly... let's see if I can come up with a silly answer)

Me: from the place at the end of the rainbow, the place where heaven and earth meet and the place where the sun meets the moon

Guy: sounds romantic

Me: oh, it certainly is

Guy: where are we going for our fist date?

Me: for our date? how come you think we are ever going out for a date?

Guy: i was touching you the right way so you got horny and asked me out for a date.

Me: either I have amnesia or you are making all of that up  ...  and I certainly don't remember having amnesia, so that leaves us with only one option

Guy: So we skip the date and just fuk [sic!] ?

Me: well, I certainly don't remember having amnesia, so that leaves us with only one option...

Guy: *touch your croch [sic!] ... i didn't know you have a dong...

Me: I certainly don't remember having amnesia, so that narrows the options down quite a bit ...

Guy: wait a minute... are you a dude?

Me: I certainly don't remember having amnesia, so there is only one option left

Guy: what would that option be?

Me: which option? who said anything about an option?

Guy: I love your cock...

Me: Do I know you? I can't quite recall having met you before...

Guy: we met at the supermarket grocery isle

Me: grocery isle? Hmmm... no, I don't remember ever having been there....


After that he gave up. Was probably of these sort that think everyone that isn't jonesing for their ... sexual attention is automatically a man in women's clothing, but that conversation certainly made my day, despite its weirdness.
Her: hi

Me: Hello. (I can't really ignore anything anymore, so have to respond to these PM's)

got room?

Room? *looks around* Yeah, plenty. What for?

wana fuck me in ur room?

Ohh... No, I do not have A room. Sorry, slight misunderstanding there.

get one

I only have $1, not sure I can afford anything.

i need real man not u
not interested
bye
26. Space travel

(This guy actually played along so it was fun)

-walks by slapping your sexy ass-
*Is launched into the sun by the strength of your masculinity*
XD oh god cant stop laughing
I'm ded bc of u
imsorry but it was for a good cause atleast ^.^
Yeah ik wut u mean
bc my ass is out of dis world
haha oh god I think mmI inmlove
what is love
bby dint hurt meh
dint hurt meh
no mo
oh god I dieing here XD
no dont die I luv u
"Hey Barbie, where's Ken?" - castrated in my fridge - no follow up.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world" - take me to your dealer - no follow up.

"Sup babe, whatcha doin?" - nuthin,hbu? - "What?" - fo'sho,dayum - no follow up.
Poor Ken... but I guess he had to die for the cause. Smile


The following conversation earned me my very first entry on an ignore list. I deem that to be like a special award to me and thus wanted to share it here.

Guy: love your short hair

Guy: love your short hair ....... its so sexy

Me: Hello to you too, always nice to meet a polite stranger that knows how to greet properly.

Guy: thank you
        is that not very common here?

Me: Apparently not.... but I admire your phenomenal ability to grasp sarcastic remarks.

Guy: where u from

Me: From a place west of Cape Dezhnev and east of Cape Prince of Wales

Guy: oh idk
        from USA

Me: You don't know what? Where I am from? Well, that is correct. Or did you mean, you don't know where you yourself are from? In that case I can't really help you.

Guy: i from usa

Guy: u sassy

Me: You are from the USA? Well, since when isn't english the national language any more? Considering your style of writing, a significant spelling reform seems to have taken place.....

'.....' has added you to ignore list.
As "shallow" as the perception may be, grammar speaks truly to intelligence, in itself a prerequisite of a proper education.
Being a sapiosexual, even if I would entertain the possibility of replying and "downplaying" the usual rhetoric I have, why would I set myself up for a boring encounter, while the signs are right there (or lack there of) for me to literally see/read.
Kudos.
LOL Kallisto, you did it hun, you put someone in the Ignore list without pushing the damn button, my speciality, congrats hun

I think the guy thought you were Sasso messing around with him....
I like how Sasso is one typo off Sassy I had no idea this name I totally made up would define me