02-05-2016, 10:45 PM
(02-05-2016, 08:15 PM)823 Wrote: I haven't met enough people to say what really works - there are so many interesting personalities and fantasies I haven't yet gotten to explore. However, as someone who semi-regularly posts in the "Handling Unwanted Invites" thread, I think it's fair to share a few things that do catch my interest in a very good way. Not necessarily in a sexual way... but it's definitely a step closer than "Hello" or "hey baby let me cum all over your ass". This goes for both men and women.
Also a good list for making friends!
1) Talk about the arts.
I hit on someone because we both liked Cyrano de Bergerac. If you want to talk about art, music, video games, writing, theatre, film - anything creative - I'm all down for that. Especially if you aren't pedantic or nerdjacking, because I'll do my best to make it just as enjoyable for you. Cultural openness is also welcome, but I'm not into entertaining any "yellow fever".
2) Get theoretical, get philosophical.
If you like the social and behavioral sciences, chances are I will find you incredibly attractive. Psychology, sociocultural anthropology, philosophy, sociology in particular... we don't have to discuss topics at length. Having an intellectual sense will turn me on if that's what you want.
My favorite partner is my favorite for a reason: he lets me talk about Bourdieu in bed after sex. (Not that I ever really do, I'd probably talk his ear off...)
3) Push and pull.
A little teasing, a little testing, here and there... I think the best way to help me challenge my boundaries is through subtle probing, without getting too aggressive or invasive with privacy. I have more kinks than I usually let on, and might even have undiscovered interests.
This one is probably the hardest; it really depends on the person and the situation.
"Passion has little to do with euphoria and everything to do with patience. It is not about feeling good. It is about endurance. Like patience, passion comes from the Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow from exuberance. It means to suffer." - Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves
4) Be polite.
By far the easiest thing to do.
Philosophy is a lot of fun. It can be difficult to find those engage in it well. The back and forth and need for clarity on what is being discussed can drive some off. It is not enjoyable for me to try and compromise on an issue for the sake of getting along, so long as the aim is genuine improvement of understanding an issue. The nitty-gritty and understanding the conceptual implications is fun to me.