10-08-2016, 11:38 AM
And this is it, final act of this Greek Tragedy. I'm going to post an Epilogue and after that, It's ByeBye to Fenix-TS! and warming welcome to... *drums beating*... SIMPLE TANIA
Read previous parts HERE
Read previous parts HERE
As he packed his things upstairs, I heard him open and closing drawers, wardrobes and dragging suitcases, all the strength, all the energy moved by anger and wounded pride, faded away and I, just let myself fall down on the couch, lying there I felt the tears running down my cheeks and I cried; I washed my soul in those minutes and while I was doing it several images crossed my mind, images of good times, bad times, monotonous times, all those little things that make a relationship, first at two, then, in my case, at three and at four, with my eyes closed I thought about my children, how would I tell them, or worst, what if…if I have to tell them about my past, or even worst, if they find out for someone else, what if…if everything I did was a mistake? What if… if I had stayed silent? Am I making a huge mistake? Am I ruining my life? Am I destroying, even without intention, my children’s life? Could this be a deep selfishness act?
I closed my eyes, sat in the couch struggling to wipe out these ideas from my head, along with those damn tears, punched the sofa several times, I snapped loud, shook my head, NO! NO! I won’t commit the same mistake again, never again, ENOUGH! I got up, went to the bathroom, washed my face, stayed there for a few seconds, looking to the mirror, watching to my reflected image, taking a deep breath and when I thought I was ready, I went back to the room, and just in time. After a short period he went down, a suitcase in each hand and a smaller one in tow, set them on the floor by the door and came up to me, looked me in the eyes, with those eyes that made me fall in love for him the second I saw them for the first time, twenty years ago, put his hands on my shoulders and because he probably noticed that I was crying, said – “Tania, forgive me…please…let me explain, give me…one more chance, please sweetheart, I love…” – didn’t let him finish, all the frustration, all my sorrow, all that rage accumulated in a life time and increased for those two months and especially since the previous day, have surfaced, took control of my body, put my hands in his chest, pushed him from me and with all the strength I could muster, slapped his right cheek.
He was astonished looking at me, it’s certain that he knows me well, knows about my explosive temper, but I think never, never crossed his mind that I was capable of doing that, to speak the truth, me neither, I’ve been through many situations, I had done so many things, including almost torn apart Garcia’s balls, but I had never been in a state in which I felt so eager to hit, to hurt, to… kill! He realized that, opened his mouth to say something, but I cut immediately saying – “Stop right there! EXPLAIN what? That you were deceiving me for over 10 years? That you settled a house to your lover? That you made her a son and gave him your name? That you would prefer spend holidays with them than with us?” – All this was said in a squeaky voice of pure hatred, he tried to counter but once again I didn’t allow – “Go to her and your other son, IT’S HER TIME TO PUT UP WITH YOU, to you and your SHITTY family, I just don’t wish that the house explode with you inside, because the child has no fault of the parents who came out in raffle for him, NOW…GO AWAY, I can’t bear looking at you one more second!”
After that there was nothing more to say, he looked at me resignedly, grabbed the bags and left, I closed the door with all my remain strengths the moment he transposed and again the tears, now more from anger took possession of me, I let myself fall to the ground with the backs against the door, the head between my legs and there I stood by, for how long, I really don’t know.
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When my children reached home, I had to tell them, it was a very complicated night, I cried, they cried, asking me over and over again the reasons why, something that I couldn’t explain, I had to hide the reasons from them, saying only that, it would have to be their father to tell them, but that it was strong, very strong, that I didn’t do it frivolously, that I did it because I had to, because it was completely impossible for me to live in the same house as he, that not even for them I could do it, that they would have to take my word for it, until the time their father told them everything.